No, I have not been answering messages on FB.
No, I am not locked in a hot car in Houston.
Yes, I normally answer messages as soon as possible, but you try flying around the country while pleasant flight attendants use a plunger to drive your “SFYOBIASTSOASGSC” (Sorry Fifty-four Year Old Body Into A Seat The Size Of A Second Grade School Chair). I have been preoccupied.
Twenty-two of the messages I received asked me if the following post was true. (see post below-do not commit it to memory, because it is “Fake News.”
“The Police are now saying if you see a dog locked in a car in hot weather, take a picture of the dog and the car. If someone is with you, get them to bring up the weather for your area on their phone so you can screen shot the temp, then break the car window. This way, you will not be charged with criminal damage and it gives the police photo evidence to take the dog owners to court. Can everyone please copy and paste this information to prevent this cruel act from happening? Summer is coming!”
Now, let’s break it down-TC style (I will not diagram the sentences because it is a skill I never mastered, as displayed daily in my horribly structured sentences.
The Police- (Who are these police and where are they? Why are these all knowing law enforcement officers telling the entire world to do things. I can’t get people to stop speeding or being mean to each other. These police must be darn good! Please identify yourself! I was asked for photo identification at the bank last week when standing there in uniform with my name on my shirt. I knew the clerk.)
Are now saying (Where are they saying this? Which day? Where did they say this? How did I miss the meeting? How do we know they are saying this? Why is there no video, because when I turn around, everyone seems to be filming me.)
If you see a dog locked in a car in hot weather, take a picture of the dog and the car. (What if the windows are down? What if the air conditioner is on? What if a person is locked in the car with them and they both appear quite comfortable? How come when children are locked in cars, no one puts a post like this on Facebook? Is the dog the driver? There are more questions to answer people-many more questions.)
If someone is with you, get them to bring up the weather for your area on their phone so you can screen shot the temp, (What if this person would just use the phone to call the local authorities? Might that be better? What if their phone does not have a camera? What if this person is like me and is an introvert who rarely has “someone with them” mainly because I don’t want friends to take pictures of me when I am trying to pat a dog in a car. No, you should never pat a dog in a car, but I have done it with some success. Why do they need to bring up a weather app? What if they do not have the location application turned on and it shows the temp in Fairbanks, Alaska? As I said, there is more to this than using your phone to capture a friend smashing out a window).
then break the car window. (NOOOOOOOOO. Call the local police or animal control officer.)
This way, you will not be charged with criminal damage and it gives the police photo evidence to take the dog owners to court. (Who is guaranteeing you will not be charged? Will the Facebook poster pay your fine or replace the broken window if you were wrong? Who is the attorney that has written this missive? Where are the disclaimers written by legal scholars?)
Can everyone please copy and paste this information to prevent this cruel act from happening? (Just stop it. Do not copy and paste everything you see. It causes me to answer twenty-two individuals who are concerned about pooches. As are the men and women of the Bangor Police Department.)
Summer is coming! (After much review of recent weather patterns in the Greater Bangor area and several reported sightings of motor vehicles sporting Massachusetts plates, I can confirm this is a true statement.)
If you see a CHILD, ADULT, DOG, CAT, or even a Blast-End Screwt, and they appear to be hot, cold, or in some type of distress, use your best judgement based on common sense, the weather conditions, whether all the windows are up, etc. Call the police (In Bangor, Maine-that would be us. 207-947-7384) and report what you see. We will send someone over, or give you good advice.
Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone, and be kind to one another.
We will be here.
This post was originally published on April 29, 2017 on Bangor Maine Police Department Facebook page.